Is Your Blog Stressing You out? Spot the Culprit – The Wannabe Blogs

August 8, 2011 By Marya Jan Filed Under: Blogging Tips 36 Comments

Copycats

Lately, I have been getting huge amounts of stress at the thought of checking into my blog.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my blog, hell, I adore it.

Our relationship has been going on for almost a year now.

When we started it was love at first sight. Then came the euphoria of trying out new things, exploring, learning – then things start to settle down.

This was expected, I knew we would get comfortable, my blog and I.

We have been progressing at a great pace, getting readers, adding subscribers along the way.

So what’s wrong, you ask me.

A-List Wannabe Blogs (Most of them)

What is wrong is when I see “big blogs”, which are clearly at a higher rung of the ladder, saying things like how they skyrocketed their subscriber count from few to few thousand in under a few short months.

The number “8 months” is quite popular in this regard and is quoted quite a lot. And they all seem to have 5k, 10k, 15k subscribers. All gained apparently well within one year.

I look at my blog and look at theirs.

Frankly, I am doing everything I need to do. I am freak learner. I am always educating myself and always working to improve things.

Progress is slow, but it;s steady. That is just fine with me.

Slowly, though, doubts start to creep in. I start wondering, how come I am still sitting on a few hundred, not even a thousand subscribers yet.

But most of all I feel depressed. When these blogs are meant to inspire me, they are doing the opposite.

I am second guessing myself, every step of the way. So much so that I was dreading even logging into my blog to see that nobody has viewed it.

And I still get a pretty decent amount of comments, so I must be doing something right.

So I am doing something I should have done long time ago.

I am letting go.

Say Your Goodbyes

Make a list of all the blogs you follow.

Divide them into three groups.

1. The ones you learn from – these people are your teachers, your mentors. Here you will see most A-list bloggers you follow.

2. The blogs that seem the next step up – The A-list wannabes.

3. The ones who are in the same boat as you – you can keep all of these ones if you like.

Look closely at the middle group. This is the most dangerous one.

If there are any blogs, who make you doubt yourself, cut them.

Any blogs who make you depressed? Out they go.

Blogs who give you any grief? Cut, cut, cut.

Instead find blogs who are not necessarily huge but who are going down the same path. These will keep you truly inspired.

Tighten Your List

You don’t need to subscribe to 250 blogs.

Seriously. Choose the best.

How many marketing, SEO, traffic generation blogs does one need?

Not many. Stick with 2-3.

How many personal development blogs?

Not many either. If you are following 39, you need help. Go see a shrink instead.

How many entertainment blogs do you need to follow in your niche?

Aha. Not every single blog. This is what I have been doing, and it has done my head in.

I am a writer. And I am cutting down.

You go with a number you are comfortable with. Don’t feel pressurized to follow every blogging blog or writing blog if you are a writer.

Pick the ones that make you feel great – about your blog.

Blogging is Hard

Follow those who tell you that it has taken them a tremendous amount of work and perseverance to reach where they are.

Follow those who tell you that blogging takes time.

Follow the ones who don’t go around saying how they made it big in – you guessed it – 8 months.

Otherwise, it’s just gonna get awkward.

So tonight I have a date with my blog again.

We are gonna sit down, and start again.

This time, I am savouring the time I spend on my blog. I am going to go back to why I started blogging – for the love of writing, exploring and connecting.

I will get to the big leagues – one day I will.

And I am happy to take my own sweet time.

image: CPando

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Filed Under: Blogging Tips Tagged With: blogging, blogs, inspiration

About Marya Jan

Marya is a blogging coach and an online copywriter for small business owners and service professionals. Catch more of her posts at Writing Happiness. Grab her Free ebook 9 NEW RULES OF BLOGGING - How to Grow Your Business with Little traffic, No connections & Limited hours. Follow her @WritingH, she is very friendly. :)

FrankDickinson

“How many personal development blogs?

Not many either. If you are following 39, you need help. Go see a shrink instead.”

Ha! SO true!

Great stuff here Marya. I recently started culling the blogs I follow and thinking about them in terms of how they help me and how much I enjoy their voice.

Blogs like The Sales Lion of thesaleslion and Dave Ursillo dot com from daveursillo

When a blog makes you feel less as a blogger/writer/person – whack that sucker off at the knees and focus your attention on those that make you happy!
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http://dr1665.com/ Brian Driggs

I like this post. You’re onto something, Marya.

Why is the traditional print media struggling? Audience preferences aside, they built their business models around growing a large audience, then serving up ads. This is proving less sustainable by the day. I take any rapid subscriber growth tactics with a grain of salt.

What you do with your blog is never as important as why you do it. Press on regardless.
maidoesimple

It all seems to originate from the (false) belief that you need to read as much as you can and you need to write as much as you can. In my opinion, you really don’t, I do it just when I feel like to, and if I have long pauses along the way, so be it, it’s all part of the game. My game, at least.
http://alifewelllivedconcludeswithasmile.blogspot.com/ barryrsilver

Marya, It’s hard to leave a cogent comment when every word your write is right on target. Fortunately, that doesn’t stop me. I too feel your pain about numbers. I look at my stuff and cry a bit inside when almost no one has seen something I really thought would connect. I don’t worry about who got where how quickly, that’s all mktg. noise. I know that my readership will grow as I grow. Lack of readership indicates I’m not good enough, yet.

May I suggest that when one is pruning their read list, give tremendous weight to blogs that have consistently led you to other quality blogs. There is so much out there that. A blogger that leads you to other blogs that you learn from is extreme;y valuable.
http://elephantseyegarden.blogspot.com/ Diana of Elephant’s Eye

I weed my blog list constantly. When I find I am skimming posts, rather than reading them. OUT they go! Change is good too, a fresh look, when you have grown tired of one point of view. Rather a few genuine readers, than a long list who don’t actually read what you write.
Bunny Terry

Love this post. I was in love with my blog at the beginning (www.ilovenewmexicoblog.com) simply because it made me happy to write about my great love, my home state. But I frequently become intimidated by the big dawgs – thanks for bringing me back to reality. I have a date with my blog tonight!
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@FrankDickinsonthesalesliondaveursillo

I just wrote a reply but it vanished into thin air …..waaah. I can’t possibly type all that again, my brain doesn’t have the ability to function at that level – apparently my 7 year old does, he never seems to forget anything. I am rambling, I know.

Yes, I am getting rid of all the blogs that make me doubt my self. Instead of feeling sorry, I am going to be spending time doing some actual work now – like watching tv.

To writing – or trying to write. Cheers.
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@Brian Driggs

I agree Brian – for now on I intend to take all claims with bucket loads of salt ..
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@maidoesimple

I think this is what we are lead to believe as new bloggers, read up as much as you can, susbcribe to as many blogs. In a book I read last year, the author has conducted interviews with top 30 bloggers of 2009 or something (ancient time in geek world), all of them claim to subscribe to 200 or so blogs. OMG, are they serious? When do they actually find time to – have a life? I undersand the bit about keeping an eye out for other blogs in your niche, but come on.
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@barryrsilver

Barry, you flatter me. Lack of readership indicates they haven’t found you yet ok?

And I aboslutely hear your last bit, I think I am finding so much great blogs through Danny and Frank. I seriously think all the nice people hang out at their place. Maybe I have been moving with the wrong crowd? Some fodder for thought here …
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@Diana of Elephant’s Eye

That’s an excellent point Diana. I seem to have a preference for a particular kind of posts – posts that are personal and make one or two points. This is actually quite a hard thing to do. I also can’t stand most list type posts. Nobody reads anything really, except the main points. And most of them fall short of their hyped headline anyway.
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@Bunny Terry

Have fun
FrankDickinson

@Marya | Writing Happinessthesalesliondaveursillo LOL – I hate when that happens!
http://www.noahgarcia.net/ NoahG_Tidbits

Great post…falling in Love can be easy, keeping the Romance alive can be trying at times. It certainly is a unique relationship between a blog and its blogger. You bring up some good points, sometimes we have to cut ties with things that can come between a blogging and his or her blog. Good tips
http://www.noahgarcia.net/ NoahG_Tidbits

Great post…falling in love can be easy, keeping the romance alive can be trying at times. The relationship between a blogger and his or her blog is unique. Sometimes we have to cut ties with things that can hinder the love of our blog as you noted. Good tips
http://alifewelllivedconcludeswithasmile.blogspot.com/ barryrsilver

@Marya | Writing Happiness I realize you’re speaking a bit tongue in cheek at the end, but here’s the thing about Frank and Danny (and not excluding anyone else intentionally) Frank and Danny consistently deliver and for those paying attention, they deliver the goods in their own voice. Consistent content in the same voice drives a following.
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@NoahG_Tidbits

Yes, I am trying to rekindle the romance here. Thanks for your comment.
http://www.TheSalesLion.com Marcus_Sheridan

@FrankDickinson Really appreciate the kind words bud. And Marya, I understand your pain. But when it comes to subscribers, I’ve also learned there are many bloggers out there that may have come out of the gates fast and gained a bunch of subscribers because they got a few breaks, but over time they lost their audience, which essentially means all those subscribers don’t mean squat.

Comparing ourselves with others is a tough thing not to do. It’s the natural human way. Personally, I think it’s OK to compare, but solely from an analytical, not an emotional, standpoint. We should ask ourselves why certain people are experiencing growth while others are not. There are always reasons, if you know what you’re looking for.

Cheers,

Marcus
Leon

G’Day Marya,

You’ve written the “ideal”post: informative, useful and entertaining. Well done. Loved the bits about “sacking” posts. Now; if you could teach that serious Celt, Danny Brown to entertain there’d be no limit to the romance!

thanks again.

Make sure yiu have fun

Regards

Leon
http://elephantseyegarden.blogspot.com/ Diana of Elephant’s Eye

@Marya | Writing Happiness Subscribing is easy. BUT, they cherry pick and only actually read their chosen few!
ashemischief

Thank you so, so much for writing this. This has been plaguing me for about a year now, and it’s refreshing to see that the steps I’m taking (like deleting almost everything from Google Reader) will lead me on the right path.
FrankDickinson

@Marcus_Sheridan …and THIS is why I referenced Marcus in by comment above @Marya | Writing Happiness – top-notch all the way!
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

And you have written the perfect comment my firend. I am saving it for days when I need a huge pickup. Many thanks.
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@ashemischief

You are a brave soul.

Actually you know what, today I took a giant step, I have unsubscribed from a blog that is huge in the world of copywriting – gasp. (Hint: they were much gossip about them recently). Only because I find them to be the biggest culprit, bringing me down at every opportunity, playing havoc with my mind – arrogant as. (My personal view, the way I see it). Enough said.
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

pickup = pick me up. Duh!
http://writinghappiness.com/ Marya | Writing Happiness

@FrankDickinson@Marcus_Sheridan

Frank, it looks like after groping in the dark for almost EIGHT months and not getting 5k subscribers, I have fallen into damn fine company. Looking forward to getting to know your people .. looks like fun times ahead. Cheers guys
http://www.kaarinadillabough.com/ KDillabough

Were you in my brain when you wrote this? Such a timely, excellent post. Thanks for your honesty and openness: culling and cutting and dating are what I’m up to at this very moment. Feels good to be in good company:) Cheers! Kaarina
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JoshSarz

Oh my gawd, this is exactly how I feel right now. I’m a fairly new blogger, but I have yet to get any significant growth on my blog when it comes to subscribers. I’m taking some of your tips and applying them.

Thanks for the good read Marya.
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VeehCirra

Oh yes, they are blogs that make me depressed and I second guess myself which leads to a lot of discouragement, I am truly going to tighten my list now; I love connecting with new bloggers and learning from the A list ones who tell the hard truth,though it’s hard to miss the 8 month wonders!
Erin

I am planning on starting my own blog and I am glad I came across this! Thanks for the great tips!