Blogging Fears: People will leave mean comments on my post

Blogging Fears: People will leave mean comments on my posts

When you first start blogging you can get quite desperate for comments, You take your post and you promote like crazy, on every single social media platform you can find. And then to your delight someone comments.

You’re elated! It’s worked, someone has left you a comment. You do the happy dance around the room.

And then you read the comment, and your heart sinks. They don’t agree with your opinion. And they have the audacity to say that in their comment. It feels like they’ve taken an axe to your post and chopped it into a million different pieces.

Immediately you delete that comment – how dare they leave a mean, negative comment on your post. It took 60 minutes to write, and all day long to promote. How dare they?

Let’s get a few things straight here…

Someone who doesn’t agree with you isn’t being mean.
Someone who corrects your grammar isn’t being negative
Someone who takes time to leave a comment and steer you correctly isn’t being horrible

A mean comment is when someone calls you or your other commenters names, incites hatred of some kind, insults you etc and if you think someone disagreeing or offering an alternative opinion is mean, what till you get one of the really horrid comments. But because you are new to blogging, you fear the worst when you read a comment that doesn’t agree with you.

When reading your comments, read them with a neutral frame of mind. You cannot read their accent, hear their pauses, see the body language, so assume and read everything in a neutral tone.

I once read an interesting blog post from someone with a personal blog. The content was chatty and engaging but littered with typos and grammatical errors that even I noticed (and I make a point to be oblivious to them), I clicked through to her about page and there it was: a rant on negativity. It seems that she was getting a lot of comments telling her of the typos and telling her to use spellchecker. She explained she was dyslexic and this was her site. She didn’t want the advice and no one was making them comment. Her concluding point was these comments were negative and nasty and she would not publish them.

My heart went out to her. The poor woman had no doubt been relentless hounded by writers and well-meaning commenters and couldn’t handle it. She felt her only solution was to delete the comments. I guess that’s one way of handling things… I have to confess that part of me wondered what exactly these people were saying to her. Even the most well-intentioned of comments can be written in such a snarky way that even when you know the person that you wonder why are they doing this?

More experienced bloggers will tell you a negative or mean comments can really spark a discussion. Which is just what you want on your blog post. But you also need to reflect a little – is the commenter telling you an unwanted truth? Gosh they hurt, but the intention behind then often isn’t to wound but to help you. Of course if you are showing off your expertise and someone trips you up it can feel like the end of the world. Or at the least the end of your blogging career…

If you say your ideas are fresh, but are just repeating what 300 other bloggers say, then a comment stating that would hurt but it wouldn’t be untrue, would it? My personal thoughts are that when blogging, you lose a lot of your own ego. Ego that you didn’t realise you had… You become humble and a stronger, better person for it.

These comments will also help you become a better blogger.

Overcoming mean and negative comments

If you are doubting the intention behind the post, reach out. Email the commenter thanking them for their time and ask if you could schedule a chat – you’d like to expand upon their feedback if possible. Very few say no. Once you are chatting and getting to know the person then you can make a judgement call – helpful or pain in the **** (yes, that’s the English spelling for rear end).

When you reach out you are starting a friendship that can last a long time, transcend your blog and seep over into real life.

So over to you – have you left a helpful comment but it’s been taken the wrong way? Have you deleted comments that were negative?

Image Credit by Janine

Buffer

http://twitter.com/MonaKarel Mona Karel

IMO anyone leaving a comment, outside of friends, has taken time from their day to express their opinion. Unless it’s truly mean (foul, slandering, not true) it deserves some attention. Heck, they read your blog, that’s a plus right there!
- Sarah Arrow
  
  Hi Mona, having a reader express their opinion is a great plus
http://twitter.com/lisa_attias Lisa Attias

So many good points here, Sarah; thanks for emphasising that engaging by commenting is nearly always positive because it shows interest. What may seem to be a critical comment can be a chance to clarify something about your subject/business. It may be a great wake up call becuase it shows how customers misconceive what you are offering. That can be truly helpful.
I’ve made a mean comment on blogs a couple of times when I’ve been in a bad mood – I have to admit. Both times the blogger answered very fairly , and I felt a bit daft.
- Sarah Arrow
  
  Thank you for your honesty Lisa. I’ve made a point never to comment on anything (from a blog post to a FB status update) when in a bad mood or after a glass of wine… I get in too much trouble .
http://twitter.com/RobertaBud Roberta Budvietas

Taking things personally is one challenge I fight every day. And if I sweat to create a blog, an article, a video or anything else, criticism hurts. BUT…they are entitled to their opinion and that is all the “mean” comment really is. I think the only comments I ever delete are the obvious spam ones. I love negative comments because they do spark discussion. And I sometimes leave those other points of view on blogs and really get to know interesting people as a result. If you put yourself out there, learn to respect the fact that everyone thinks differently and a “mean” comment means they did read you so rejoice in that fact. Thanks Sarah for an interesting post.
- Sarah Arrow
  
  Thanks for sharing Roberta, I’ve often left comments that are not my true view but an opposing one to generate conversation. Most of the time it works really well, once it backfired spectacularly
Alan Choy

a comment is a comment no matter what the element is, at least they browsed through your blog =P
- Sarah Arrow
  
  cheers Alan, thanks for taking the time to comment
Devon Lee

My mother ran a niche news website for years. She had one person who constantly pestered her about so many nit-picky things that it irritated her to receive that person’s emails. However, after all these years, the person finally said why “Because he wanted her website to be the best in the industry. He was her number one fan.” Go figure. Thanks for the opportunity to share this nugget. Criticism really can help spark discussion or help us grow,
- Sarah Arrow
  
  Criticism can indeed help us grow, thank you for sharing you mom’s story with us. It’s great to see how a number one fan can help, even if it irritates. Thanks for stopping by and sharing.
http://www.facebook.com/martincasper Martin Casper

Comments are just comments, just like no is a two letter, one syllable word that means nothing more than no. Sarah, I really like the way you brought to light, in a kind way, that bloggers and entrepreneurs need to develop a thick skin and just deal with it. All comments can have a positive effect no matter how negative they may seem. It means that you are getting traffic and that is the whole purpose. Thanks.
- Sarah Arrow
  
  Hey Martin thanks for stopping by and commenting . The hardest part is developing the thick skin. Every time I think I have, a comment is left that wobbles me
Dominique

Great article topic. I don’t see this issue talked about much, but handling negative blog comments is definitely something you have to know how to do effectively. A lot of people do it just to spark controversy and create a discussion. Addressing opposing viewpoints can actually give you ideas for new posts.
- Sarah Arrow
  
  I’ve done that a few times myself, I’d completely forgot that until you mentioned it :0), mean comments can become additional posts . Thanks for the comment.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Len-Bowcott/100001336256024 Len Bowcott

Thanks for the excellent advice on handling negative and outright nasty commenters. I don’t take it personally when my opinions or perspectives differ from someone else. However, I see no benefit in prolonging an argument, especially in a public forum like my blog.
Pingback: Blogging fears: I can’t guest post anywhere – For Bloggers By Bloggers